金牛座
當他主動開始混在你的朋友堆中，又特別喜歡有意無意聊到你時，就表示他粉有意思了，不過他何時會展開
行動？天知道…
雙子座
當他纏著你開始問東問西，又拼命的發表謬論惹你討厭時，他就是在追你，不過你會發現同樣被追的應該有好多個。
巨蟹座
當他主動說「我很喜歡跟你聊天」，這個時候其實他想說的是我很喜歡你，可以開始約會囉！
獅子座
你開始覺得他在你身邊惹你發笑，他的用意只是要你認知他得存在，你開始覺得他真针你的批評不可理喻時他就是愛上你了。
處女座
當他開始看著你訴說他可能這輩子都找不到真愛時，他其實是說「如果你不愛我的話我就真的沒人愛了。」
天秤座
這下可難了，因為他們對每個人都釋放同樣的訊息所以完全無法判定他是不是只對你有意思。
天蠍座
當你覺得他的距離突然拉近許多也很好相處很喜歡和你談心時，那就是他對你來電囉！
射手座
他開始開你玩笑，推你打你扯你頭髮，就是說他對你有意思，這種示愛的方式簡直是小學程度。
魔羯座
他開始在觀察你的一舉一動就是對你有意思，等到你察覺時他已經完成戰略部屬，任你也逃不出他的掌心。
水瓶座
放電時，率直的水瓶會出其不意的說「我很喜歡你，下次再一起出來玩吧！」有時連他自己都會被嚇到。
雙魚座
他喜歡你的時候會一直溺在你身邊，你說什麼做什麼他都贊成，這就是他喜歡你的最佳證明。
2.摳門…雙魚座。
雙魚座摳門是摳於無形之間，常常夾帶，跟朋友一起時絕對不會主動掏錢，除非是跟自己有利害關係的時候，例如想要討好對方、對方是自己的長官…等等，可是雙魚座閃躲掏錢的招數又很高明，只會讓人家覺得怎麼每次都這麼湊巧。
3.重色輕友…天蠍座。
天蠍座平常私底下朋友已經不多了，神秘感十足，而在他交了男朋友或者是女朋友之後，天蠍座就會覺得其他的朋友來就是打擾他，因此能不理就不理，直到有一天天蠍座失戀了，就會自動出現在公眾面前。
– 某人还真的是最近才出现在我面前的咯~
6.依賴朋友…魔羯座。
魔羯座做很多事情喜歡呼朋引伴，雖然他的個人特質讓人感覺他很孤獨，不過魔羯座喜歡群體生活，喜歡看人很開心，雖然在團體中不會突出，但是他就是很喜歡有朋友圍繞在自己身邊。
– 难怪有些魔羯在一些场合, 没有朋友做, 自己是不会去做的…
你我活到几多岁
最爱什么都会累 (昨日)
如何完美亦似雪景始终都变水
Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes " Yes "
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Beng : "I’ll buy it"
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares
it with the original for spelling mistakes.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks
his picture is being taken.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-
Why can’t Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can’t find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the ‘Help’
command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer
retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the ‘F1’ key for help lah, but it’s been
over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah – but
instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it
to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei
AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE…"
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he’d been working on for
quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT’S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
FOR 4-7 YRS".
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng’s left tells the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE"
and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"
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